If he wasnt here...

Lately ive been thinking alot. Something ive been thinking about was if my dad died or just up and left for no good reason, disappeared, would I be able to fill his shoes, take his role and run my household. I know I really shouldnt be thinking that way but the way life is and the way things are going in our society, who knows what the hell tomorrow holds. I mean im a pretty responsible kid but im still only a kid. Just because im 18 does not make me an adult. It doesnt make me an adult because im not self-sufficient, I dont have a job that allows me to be able to pay the extremely large morgaage on my house, pay the cable bill, buy grocies, the internet bill, the gas, the water, electruc, or the phone and those are just the necessities. That means no new clothes, kicks, phones, electronics, blah blah blah. Im just saying if my dad did just pull a Hudini, id have to get a job, change my whole school schedule, and give up all of my free time and im just not ready to grow up that fast....thats why we should all live our lives to the fullest while we have them...you dont like your girlfriend or your friends or whatever...keep it moving. No dumb shit, just enjoy your youth while your young and dont try to grow up too fast because your youth is limited and when your grown, all youll do is look back and think about what you could have done, who you could have been with, what you could have bought, and it will drive you insane later on.